Surveys Prove Fathers are more Important than Mothers!?
Complementarianism teaches that fathers have a greater impact (either positive or negative) on children than do mothers. Some surveys appear to validate this theory and are cited by complementarians to prove their paradigm of God ordained male governance.
The “Why” Factor: What is generally ignored about these surveys, is that they fail to use variables to explain why the influence of fathers seems to be greater than the influence of mothers. They are slanted to manipulate answers to favor fathers.
Those who create and cite these surveys, disregard the well-established fact that it is generally the power person in a family who wields the most influence over the children. It doesn’t matter whether the power person is the mother or the father. And sometimes the power person is the mother.
Whoever holds the purse-strings (either makes the most money or controls the money) is usually the power-person in a family. An independently wealthy mother or grandmother, for instance, could be an unchallenged matriarch and hold the most sway over the children’s perceptions of who is most important in the family.
Caveat: That is the reason many cultures provide no path for women to be self-sufficient, much less prosperous. Until recent times, that was the case for women in the United States.
In reality, no one is most important in a family. With rare exceptions, it takes an emotionally healthy mother and an emotionally healthy father—together—to raise emotionally healthy children.
But most cultures, when it comes to ideas about the sexes, are not emotionally healthy. Even so, it has always been understood that it is not gender that determines who will affect the lion's share of psychological impact upon a child...but, rather, the one who holds the power.
Up to the present day, men are generally considered to be the power focus in most families. And though gender definitely contributes to the father's influence, due to the why's and wherefores of physical and cultural dynamics, the reasons for this go beyond sex.
Physical Characteristics: Fathers are usually bigger and stronger than mothers. This will positively impact children’s perceptions of power in favor of fathers. Fathers typically have deeper voices than mothers. This will influence children’s perceptions of power. So, even if a father is gentle and soft spoken, he could appear to a small child as more intimidating [whether implied or inferred] than a mother, and thus have a greater influence on a child—making the child feel the father is the most important adult in the home. But neither of these facts point to a divinely created hierarchy based on sex.
We see then, that from babyhood [in the eyes of a child], how an immediate dynamic of hierarchy can be created based on nothing more than physical size, strength, and the male feature of a deeper voice. It is easy to see how that, based on physical characteristics alone, from the very beginning of a child's life, this could be capitalized on in the father's favor to make his influence on the children greater than that of the mother's.
Financial Power: Father's often produce a larger share of family finances than do mothers. Up until the last few generations, with few exceptions, it was generally fathers who produced 100% of the family finances, which made mothers as dependent on fathers as babies were on their mothers.
This regulated mothers to the status of little higher than elder siblings in most family hierarchies. Fathers have historically held, and even today generally hold, a higher place in the financial hierarchy, which translates into the power tiers of families, which translates into more influence on the children, making fathers appear to be more important than mothers.
Tradition is on the side of fathers, so there is an assumptive family hierarchy that favors fathers. To a large degree, within contemporary families, that dynamic is still very much in play.
All of the above and more work together to elevate the influence of fathers above that of mothers as the central power figures in many families. As such, fathers would naturally exercise the most influence over children—for either good or bad. And, in the eyes of the children, be considered more important than mothers.
But none of this points to a divinely created hierarchy based on sex.
In the Greek culture of New Testament times (Rome was based on Greek culture), it was the male members of the family who wielded the power. In that culture, male always trumped female, Legally, Greek always trumped everyone else, or if one happened to be Jewish, on the Jewish social scale Jew trumped everyone else, free always trumped slave, and so on and so forth. It was an entirely tiered culture. So, it is significant that Timothy, who was half Jew and half Greek, chose the influence of his Jewish mother and grandmother [devout Jews who became believers] over the influence of his Greek father and other male members of the Greek side of his family.
2 Timothy 1:5, When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded that in you also [1]
[1] Timothy’s mother and grandmother were Jewish believers, whose influence on Timothy was profound. Nothing is said about his Greek father, except that he was Greek (Acts 16:1), which meant he was likely a follower of one or more of the pantheons of Greek gods available to Roman citizens.
Timothy would have been raised in the Father Cult tradition of the Greeks, where the father was priest of his household, offering sacrifices to whichever patron god[s] he chose and training Timothy to do the same once he was grown and became master over his own household.
It is noteworthy, that by the time Timothy reached adulthood, it was the influence of his mother and grandmother that prevailed, and not that of his father or male members of his Greek family.
In the Greek culture of the Roman Empire, women’s names were not, as a rule, mentioned publicly (not even in court trials, unless they were notorious) and women received little to no commendation.
One female hero in Roman history was a woman who committed suicide after she was raped rather than live with the shame of it. She became a hero by killing herself. It is this writer's opinion that she may not have committed suicide at all. A likely scenario is that she was murdered by her husband so that he would not have to live with the shame of it, and he passed the murder off as a suicide—thus making a dead hero of her. In some cultures, husbands, fathers, and brothers still blame victims for being raped … and kill them for it.
In ancient times, women were consistently painted as silly creatures with the basest of instincts, so it is remarkable that Paul makes a point of commending women by name in his letters to the churches.
It is astounding that a man raised in the Jewish and Greek cultures—cultures that gave no credence to women—would credit the influence of a mother over the influence of a father.
Complementarians create surveys that give the results they are looking for and cherry-pick others for their articles and press releases. This writer has read some of these surveys and found them utterly lacking in variables that would explain why fathers often wield more influence over children than mothers. This article hopefully sheds light on these claims and empowers readers to question the validity of surveys that offer pat conclusions while ignoring variables that explain the “why’s.”
Jocelyn Andersen writes and speaks about a variety of topics with an emphasis on the subjects of domestic violence awareness and God and Women. She is working on her first novel and is the author of several non-fiction books including, "Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence" and "Woman this is WAR! Gender, Slavery, and the Evangelical Caste System." Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and television. She is open to requests for writing assignments, anthology contributions, and conference speaker.
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Jocelyn’s book, Woman this is WAR! Gender Slavery and the Evangelical Caste System, examines Bible commentary and translation practices which have historically been androcentric (male centered) and even misogynistic (anti-woman).
These have adversely effected understanding of the scriptures, relations between women and men, the happiness of men and women, and, in general, has hindered the work of the gospel, by forbidding women to preach, pastor, or serve as elders or deacons.
The book chronicles the early history of the women's rights movements, as well as the role of church leadership in aggressively suppressing both women's rights and the historical record of Christian initiatives in these movements.
Through the complementarian movement, many of the same arguments used to support chattel slavery, are still used today in supporting an unscriptural sex-based authority submission structure within homes and churches.
This book documents identical arguments used by Christian leaders and is an unparalleled resource for all who desire an in-depth study of autonomy of the sexes from a historical, Christian, and biblical perspective.
This book traces the history of women’s rights, much further back than usual, to the very first feminists…who were Christians—godly women, who brought the issue of women's rights to the forefront as they struggled to alleviate the suffering of others, but found themselves hindered in doing so for no other reason than the fact that they were women.
This book provides valuable historical insight into Christian initiatives in the movements for women’s rights, that are rarely included in Christian literature.